IntimiDating

Pain is an intimate thing.  I’m afraid of intimacy.  The hard truth is that it’s people you love who can hurt you the most.  They’re the only ones who can get close enough.  Close enough to dig their fingernails into your soft places.  Close enough to sink their teeth into your bad decisions.  Close enough to know where you wear your heart.  Close enough to steal it.  Close enough to take off running. 

So, I will tell my life to you in stories, flexing my past like a muscle.  I’ll tell you that I’m tough because those were the kind of times I came from.  I will tell you hard and lovely stories.  I will let you think you know me.  But I know better.  I will hurt myself before you have a chance to.  You’ll never see it coming because I don’t want to stick around to watch you walk away. 

 

I want you to love me but I don’t know how to be loved.