Syntax

He looked into me and said, “When you look at me like that, you really are the most beautiful woman in the world.”

I thought, later, that is why I could never date a writer – or even most men.  As a writer, I find I’m rarely sure if I actually mean what I say, or if I just like the way the words go together.  And I think most men say things to a woman because they hope to fit their body – if only for a moment – with hers.  It’s all syntax. 

I smiled and almost told him he didn’t need to flatter me.  It was enough to be beautiful to him.  But he continued, “I mean, you always are, but I forget to notice sometimes and then you look at me like that and it’s all I can see.” 

I question my own aesthetic appeal almost everyday – my weight, my thighs, my skin, my teeth…  But I didn’t question whether or not he meant what he said in that moment because when I looked at him like that and when he looked back at me, there was no one else in the world.